Chapter 766

This compliments of jim

A bus full of Nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter.

St. Peter says to them “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line.”

And they do so.

St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

The Sister Responds “Well ... there was this one time ... that I kinda sorta ... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...”

St. Peter says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?”

“Well ... There was this one time ... that I held one for a moment...”

“Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another!

St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!”

Sister Susan responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

This one is compliments of Joe S

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train.”

“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting.”

“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss.”

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.

“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, “Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer.

This one is compliments of GEORGE

Do you ever get irritated when playing a computer game and it pops up and tells you you have no VALID moves.

One would think common courtesy would have it provide you with the INVALID moves available.

This one is compliments of GEORGE

Baptist boy and Catholic boy were sitting around trying to outdo the other as young boys are prone to do.

The Catholic boy tells the Baptist boy his priest knows more than his preacher.

“Of course he does” the Baptist boy retorts, “You tell him everything.”