Chapter 746

This a true example of when two people really know each other.

Retired Veteran with a very Smart Wife...

Early one morning, an elderly retired veteran just finished a piece of artwork he had been working on and yelled to his wife. “Honey! Come see what I created! It’s an abstract panorama, depicting the eight Years of the Obama administration!”

She yelled back, “Flush the toilet Jim, and come eat your breakfast!”

Just sharing some thoughts meandering in my mind.

• The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robebefore you start looking like a mental patient.

• My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

• My 75 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 180 pounds I’ve gained since then.

• I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

• Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

• Both my nurse and the pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure they are going to get me something.

• On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

• I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”

• I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

• What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their noses?

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

• The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.