Chapter 730

Dead Donkey

Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning.

It was a fine spring day in his new parish in rural Wales.

He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St.Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a donkey lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied:

“Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was dead silence on the line for a moment...

Father O’Malley then replied:

“Aye, you’re absolutely right and ‘ tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”

Who knew?

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that *their* ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that *their* ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British.”

One week later, Canadian Dept. Of Mines and Resources in Newfoundland reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in NE Canada, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely fuck all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Canada had already gone wireless.”

Just makes you bloody proud to be Canadian!!