Chapter 725

This one is compliments of tony k

I don’t remember seeing this one. Maybe there’s a reason?:

Jesus and God are playing golf one Tuesday afternoon. They get to the Twelfth hole, which has a water hazard between the tee box and the green.

Jesus steps up with his 7-iron and makes ready to hit it. God clears his throat. “Son, I think you need more club. Maybe a 4-iron?”

Jesus says “I watched Tiger Woods play this hole last weekend, and the 7 is what he used. Have a little faith, Dad!”

So Jesus hits the ball. Straight up. Straight down. Into the middle of the hazard.

He wants to retrieve the ball, so he walks onto the water looking for it.

The foursome behind them, feeling no pain after several adult beverages, elects one to come and ask what’s going on. He looks at the guy standing on top of the water and asks “Who does that guy think he is – Jesus Christ?”

God answers “Oh, he IS Jesus. He THINKS he’s Tiger Woods”

This one is compliments of John A.

Confucius Say:
1 OK to let a fool kiss you, but not OK to let a kiss fool you.
2 Kiss is merely shopping upstairs for real merchandise downstairs.
3 Better to lose a lover than love a loser.
4 Man with broken condom often called Daddy Drunken man’s words often sober man’s thoughts.
5 Marriage is same as bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
6 Viagra just like Disneyland ... One hour wait for 2-minute ride.
7 Joke is just like sex. Neither any good if you don’t get it.
8 Man who live in Glass House should change clothes in basement.
9 Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
10 Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
11 Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
12 Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
13 Lady who goes camping must be aware of evil intent.
14 Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
15 “A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!”
16 Finally CONFUCIUS SAY ... Person who deletes this has no humor!!!