Chapter 721

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity so he asked, “Well, before you jump, why don’t you give me a kiss?”

So she does, and it was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?”

“My parents don’t like my dressing up like a girl.”

These are compliments of the Shy One

CHINESE PROVERBS

1 Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
2 Man who run in front of car get tired.
3 Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4 Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
5 Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
6 Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
7 Man with one chopstick go hungry.
8 Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
9 Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
10 Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
11 Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
12 War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
13 Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
14 Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
15 It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
16 Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
17 Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
18 Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
19 Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
20 Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
21 Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

This one is compliments of J And B

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2017 but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.

To My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!