Chapter 72

Sign seen on a college fraternity house:

VIRGINITY REDUCTION CLINIC TONIGHT
Bothered by the burden of excessive virginity?
Meet with our trained counselors for one-on-one help, or participate in a group session.
Anesthetics provided free of charge! All you'll feel is a prick!
And we all know how small they are!!!!

These are compliments of Jerry

Irish Cop

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education than any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!

Irish cop says, "License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What for?"

Irish cop says, "Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

London Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Irish cop says,"Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

London Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Irish cop says, "The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

London Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

Irish cop says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."

The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living crap out of the lawyer and says,

"Daeye want me to stop, or just slow down?"

if I Die First...

Now that they are retired, my mother and father were discussing all aspects of their future.

"What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.

After some thought, Mom said that she'd probably look for a house-sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.

Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die first?"

He replied, "Probably the same thing."