Chapter 713

Brilliant Irish Humour

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, Ireland, a husband and wife were staring at a painting that had them completely baffled. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized they were having trouble interpreting the painting, and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour, explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. ‘In fact, ‘ he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.’ After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’ ‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?’ asked the couple. ‘Because I’m the guy who painted it, ‘ he replied. ‘In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They’re three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.’

Interesting tidbits

Bet Ya Didn’t Know ... some of these interesting history tidbits

Early aircraft’s throttles had a ball on the end of it. In order to go full throttle, the pilot had to push the throttle all the way forward into the wall of the instrument panel. Hence, the term “Balls to the wall” was meant for going very fast.

During WWII, U.S. airplanes were armed with belts of bullets which they would shoot during dogfights and on strafing runs. These belts measured 27 feet long, contained hundreds of bullets, and were folded into the wing compartments that fed their machine guns. Often times, the pilots would return from their missions having expended all of their bullets on various targets. They would say, “I gave them the whole nine yards” which meant they had used up all of their ammunition.

Did you know the saying “God willing and the creek don’t rise” was in reference to the Creek Indians and not a body of water? It was written by Benjamin Hawkins in the late 18th century. He was a politician and Indian diplomat. While in the south, Hawkins was requested by the President of the U.S. to return to Washington. In his response, he was said to have written, “God willing and the Creek don’t rise”. Because he capitalized the word “Creek”, it is deduced that he was referring to the Creek Indian Tribe and not a body of water.

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are limbs; therefore, painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, “Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg”. (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint.)

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October). Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool, but these wigs could not be washed. To clean them, they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy; hence, the term “big wig”. Today we often use the term “Here comes the Big Wig” because someone appears to be, or is, powerful and wealthy.