Chapter 711

This one is compliments of Bob W

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all,” the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.

“Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom.” He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, “Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty.”

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty. “But how?” inquired the lawyer. “You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door.”

The jury foreman replied, “Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.”

This preamble is an educational submission by TechnoMage

It’s been a long tradition for the Presidents to have a pet in the White House, as the Following list shows:

President Animals

George Washington Polly the parrot; 36 hounds; horses

John Adams horses

Thomas Jefferson a mockingbird; two bear cubs, a gift from Lewis and Clark

James Madison Macaw the parrot; sheep

James Monroe a spaniel

John Quincy Adams an alligator; silkworms

Andrew Jackson horses named Truxton, Sam Patches, Emily, Lady Nashville, and Bolivia; Pol the parrot; ponies

Martin Van Buren two tiger cubs

William Henry Harrison a goat; a cow

John Tyler Le Beau, a greyhound; a horse named The General

James Knox Polk a horse

Zachary Taylor Old Whitey the horse

Millard Fillmore no pets

Franklin Pierce no pets

James Buchanan Lara, a Newfoundland; an eagle; an elephant

Abraham Lincoln Jack the turkey; goats named Nanny and Nanko; ponies; cats; dogs; pigs; a white rabbit

Andrew Johnson white mice

Ulysses S. Grant Faithful, a Newfoundland; horses named Jeff Davis, Julia, Jennie, Mary, Butcher Boy, Cincinnatus, Egypt, and St. Louis; ponies named Reb and Billy Button; pigs; dogs; a parrot; roosters

Rutherford B. Hayes Siam, a Siamese cat; Grim, a greyhound; Duke, an English mastiff; Hector, a Newfoundland; Dot, a terrier; canaries; cows; horses; goats; other dogs

James Garfield Kit the horse; Veto the dog; fish

Chester Alan Arthur no pets

Grover Cleveland a poodle; canaries and mockingbirds

Benjamin Harrison Dash the dog; Whiskers the goat; dogs; an opossum

William McKinley a parrot; an Angora cat and her kittens

Theodore Roosevelt Sailor Boy, a Chesapeake Bay retriever; Manchu, a Pekingese; Skip, a mutt; terriers named Jack and Pete; cats named Tom Quartz and Slippers; Josiah the badger; Algonquin the pony; Eli the macaw; Jonathan the piebald rat; Emily Spinach, a garter snake; twelve horses; five bears; five guinea pigs; other snakes; two kangaroo rats; lizards; roosters; an owl; a flying squirrel; a raccoon; a coyote; a lion; a hyena; a zebra