Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 708
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body ... Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You’re not over weight; you’re just ... easier to see.
A POEM THAT WAS US
A little house with three bedrooms, One bathroom and one car on the street A mower that you had to push To make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall We only had one phone, And no need for recording things, Someone was always home.
We only had a living room Where we would congregate, Unless it was at mealtime In the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms Or extra rooms to dine. When meeting as a family Those two rooms would work out fine.
We only had one TV set And channels maybe two, But always there was one of them With something worth the view
For snacks we had potato chips That tasted like a chip. And if you wanted flavor There was Lipton’s onion dip.
Store-bought snacks were rare because My mother liked to cook And nothing can compare to snacks In Betty Crocker’s book
Weekends were for family trips Or staying home to play We all did things together – Even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips Depending on the weather, No one stayed at home because We liked to be together
Sometimes we would separate To do things on our own, But we knew where the others were Without our own cell phone
Then there were the movies With your favorite movie star, And nothing can compare To watching movies in your car
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