Chapter 702

CHRISTMAS JOKE

The Teacher asked young Patrick Murphy: “What do you do at Christmas time?”

Patrick addressed the class: “Well Miss Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight mass and we sing hymns; then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys.”

“Very nice Patrick,” she said. “Now Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?”

“Well, Miss Jones, me and my sister also go to church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents.”

Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, “Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at

Christmas?”

Isaac said, “Well, it’s the same thing every year ... Dad comes home from the office, we all pile into the Rolls Royce; then we drive to Dad’s toy factory. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves ... and begin to sing: ‘What A Friend We Have in Jesus’. Then we all go to the Bahamas.”

A LOT OF JOKES ABOUT BLONDE FEMALES FLOATING AROUND THE INTERNET BUT SOME MAY BE SURPRISED THAT THERE IS A WHOLE GROUP OF JOKES ABOUT MEN THAT MANY DO NOT SEE. ENJOY THIS OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’ ‘It depends, ‘ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’ He yelled back, ‘ GO GATORS!’ And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world... ‘ The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you... ‘.

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today, ‘ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower... ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’ ‘Probably that I married you for your money, ‘ she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death. AMEN

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy...

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world ... then He made the earth round.