Chapter 698

This one is compliments of John A.

Summary Of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second
person.
4) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
5) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day

This is from Jim, I don’t think is from the Democrat persuasion. “See You Tomorrow”

One sunny day in 2018, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard.

“I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

“Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.”

The old man sighed and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton”.

“Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.”

The man thanked him and again walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine.

“I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man.

“Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you understand?”

“Oh, I understand you fine. I just love hearing your answer!”

The Marine snapped to attention and saluted. “Sir, see you tomorrow. Sir!”