Chapter 694

Mother’s Driver’s License

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.

“Mommy,” the little girl asks, “how old are you?”

“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied. “It’s not polite.”

“OK.” the little girl says,

“How much do you weigh?”

“Now really,” the mother says, “those are personal questions and are really none of your business.”

Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”

“That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!”

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

“My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,” the little girl says to her friend.

“Well,” says the friend, “all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.”

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,

“I know how old you are. You are 32.”

The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”

“I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.”

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.

“How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?”

“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce.”

“Oh really?” the mother asks. “Why?”

“Because you got an F in sex.”

If you see someone without a smile today, give them one of yours!

This one is compliments of pyates

Read carefully...

African chief got visited by Dr. Livingstone and was asked what he would like as a gift. “A throne” he responded. When the throne duly arrived it was much too nice to put outside in the dirt so the chief put it in his attic.

One day the throne fell through the attic and killed the chief and 3 of his wives ... moral of the story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones!!

This one is compliments of Joe S

Frank and Dianne were in a local shopping center just before Christmas.

Dianne suddenly noticed that Frank was missing, and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell phone. Dianne asked, “Frank, where are you? You know that we have lots to do.”

Frank said, “Do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with a diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time, and I said that one day I would get it for you.”

Little tears started to flow down Dianne’s cheek, and she got all choked up. “Yes, I do remember that shop,” she replied.

“Well, I’m in the Hooters next to that.”