Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 691
This compliments of Bill L
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Irish cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Irish cop’s expense!
Irish cop says, “License and registration, please.”
London Lawyer says, “What for?”
Irish cop says, “Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.”
London Lawyer says, “I slowed down, and no one was coming.”
Irish cop says, “Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please”.
London Lawyer says,
“What’s the difference?”
Irish cop says, “The difference is, ye huvte come to complete stop, that’s the law. License and registration, please!”
London Lawyer says, “If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I’ll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don’t give me the ticket.”
Irish cop says, “Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.”
The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.
The Irish cop takes out his baton and starts beating the living shit out of the lawyer and says,
“Daeye want me to stop or just slow down?”
These are compliments of Chris
She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, ‘Lord, they’re finally together.’
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, ‘Do you think he means her first, second or third husband? ‘ The friend replied, ‘ I think he means her legs.”
There was this man who went to the hospital every Monday morning, and every Monday he would see the same Blond woman on the elevator. One Monday he decided to strike up a conversation with the young blond and asks “So why are you here every Monday?” to which she replies “I go to the third floor to give blood. They pay me $10.00, What about you?”
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