Chapter 69

Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.

Guy behind the counter says, 'Male or female?'

Customer says, 'Female.'

Counter guy asks, 'Black or white?

Customer says, 'White.

Counter guy asks, 'Christian or Muslim?'

Customer says, 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'

Counter guy says, 'The Muslim one blows itself up.

Only Readers from Ontario Canada will understand this one.

A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Kathleen Wynne

That evening, the man brought Wynne to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave-in and leaned over to Wynne and told her he hadn't had sex for months.

Wynne batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.

Compliments of grandpa

A young man was going to marry the most beautiful, sexiest, woman in the world. The woman's family thought he only wanted to marry her because the family was RICH, I mean top1% rich.

So the girl's mother went to the man's house to talk to him and seduce him. She says next week you are marring my daughter, and I see how you keep looking at me with those sexy eyes of yours. Of course as she says this as she is taking off all her clothing and headed for the stairs.

As she starts up the stairs stark naked, she says come on you know you want me. The man then gets up and runs

--For the front door.

As he opens the door he is warmly greeted by his brides whole family, who tell him he passed there test and welcome to the family.

The moral if the story is always leave your condoms in your car.

This is compliments of Mike

Attractive young woman is sitting at the bar.

Several men have come up to her and been openly rejected.

Middleaged man approaches her and asks to buy her a drink.

"Why should I let you do that? I'm not really looking for company tonight," she said.

"Well," he said, "I just may have something for you. Would you be willing to sleep with me if I gave you a million dollars?"

The girl pondered this for a bit, then answered.

"I guess that would be worth it. Yes, I would sleep with you for a million bucks."

"Okay," the guy says, "then how about a blow job for ten dollars?"

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" The girl yells loudly.

"We've already established that," he said, "all we're doing now is haggling over price."

This one is compliments of 'greenbottle' his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, a woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone.

She started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue.

I'm on the train". "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the

four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with

that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".

"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".

"Yes, I'm sure,

cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the

man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said

into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to

bed."

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.