Chapter 684

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole,
all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole,
sniffs the air and said, ‘Yummy! I smell maple syrup!’

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,
sniffs the air and said, ‘Oh, Yummy! I smell honey!’

Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way. This makes him whine, ‘Geez, all I can smell is...

MOL ASSES!

(Yes, you’re gonna pass it on!) Today is International Disturbed People’s Day Please send an encouraging message to a disturbed friend ... Just as I’ve done.

Compliments of J. P.

The Lonely Widow

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked. “Just look at you -- you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and replied, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

This One Is Compliments of John A.

Larry the Fighter Pilot A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Larry says: “I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.” The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. “And how about you, Sarah?” “I wanna be Larry’s whore”