Chapter 679

This one is compliments of Jim7 and his friend

Donald Trump jetted to his yacht, which was docked off the coast of Italy. He invited Pope Francis and the press corps on board for a Saturday afternoon cruise.

It was a rather windy day. The Pope’s little hat, his zucchetto, was blown from his head and into the water. A crewman began lowering a boat to retrieve the zucchetto.

Trump told the crewman not to bother.

Trump climbed down the yacht’s ladder; walked across the waves, picked up the zucchetto; walked back to the yacht and handed it to the Pope.

The Pope and the press corps were amazed!

Donald Trump could actually walk on water!

Speculation immediately began as to how ABC, CNN, NBC, ABC, The Washington Post and New York Times would report this miraculous event to the rest of the world.

The next morning the New York Times headline read...

DONALD TRUMP CAN’T SWIM!!!

This one is compliments of Pepere

Two Trees and a Woodpecker

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The birch says he can’t tell, but a woodpecker lands on the sapling just then.

The birch says, “You’re a tree expert, Woodpecker. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It’s neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Now wipe that smile off your face.