Chapter 677

This one is compliments of mario_mario

The police came to my house earlier and said my dog chased somebody on a bike. I said fuck off idiots my dog doesn’t even have a bike.

Had to get my pet Lizard some Valium as he’s been a bit stressed out lately. Now he’s a calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon.

When walking towards public toilets you will often find that the mens is to the left. Why? Because women are always right.

Men are like ... Laxatives ... They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like ... Vacations ... They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like ... Coffee ... The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.
Men are like ... Commercials ... You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.