Chapter 676

These are compliments of smokeyjoe

Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”

Man: “Yes!”

Reporter: “Name?”

Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.”

Reporter: “Sex?”

Man: “Three to five times a week.”

Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?”

Man: “Yes, male, female ... sometimes camel.”

Reporter: “Holy cow!”

Man: “Yes, cow, sheep ... animals in general.”

Reporter: “But isn’t that hostile?”

Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.”

Reporter: “Oh dear!”

Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.

Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell sausage!”

Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell pancakes!”

Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn’t because of the two bigger moles.

Baby mole said, “The only thing I smell is molasses.”

Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?”

Student: “Meat!”

Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”

Student: “Bacon!”

Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”

Student: “Homework!”

A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”

The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.”

“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?”

She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”

This one is compliments of J and B

A recent article in the West Australian newspaper reported that a woman, Mrs. Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”