Chapter 674

This compliments of Mario

Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint.

Blonde Tracey, in her brand new uniform, stops them and tells them: “I can’t let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro. Quattro means four. One of you will have to get out and stay behind.”

“Quattro is just the name of the car,” the driver replies disbelievingly. “Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five persons.”

“You cannot pull that one on me. This is Tracey you’re talking to here,” she replies with a smile. “Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law. So I can’t let you onto the ferry. It’s more than my job’s worth to let you all on.”

The driver is now very cross and replies angrily, “I’ve had enough of you. Call your supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence... !”

“Sorry,” responds Tracey, “but Sharon is busy with those two blokes in the Fiat Uno.”

I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.

“Fancy buying me a drink?” She said,

“Sure,” I replied. “If you let me choose.”

“Okay,” she grinned. “But how will you know what I want?”

“Well, it’s a talent,” I smiled. “All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best.”

“Okay,” she giggled. “You can choose for me.”

So I turned to the barman and said, “Diet coke please mate.”

DONALD TRUMP UPDATE.

CBS NEWS. Asked President Trump :- How do you Donald Trump, plan on Deporting 12 million Illegal Mexican Immigrants... ???

JUAN by JUAN. was his reply.

A man once told his son that if he wanted to live a long life the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his cornflakes every morning. The son did this religiously every morning, and lived to be 93.

When he died, he left 6 children, 11 grandchildren, 27 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

These Are Compliments of Smokeyjoe

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Chinese lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated.

She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said,

“Fluctuations.”

The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club.

He’s tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets.

They arrive at his place and head straight to his room.

Jill can’t help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears.

On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn’t afraid to show it.

Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear!

In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, “How was that?”

He nods and says, “Not too fuckin’ bad at all.

Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!”

So this guy comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, “Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook,”

The wife responds, “Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck.”