Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 671
This one is compliments of Pepere
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.
She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand.”
Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.
These are compliments of mario mario
A friend of mine recently showed me the plans for an invisible airplane.
To be honest I can’t see it taking off.
Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout:
“Air in the hands mother stickers! This is a fuck up!”
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, fed him dinner, even fixed his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply again “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
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