Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 669
This one is compliments of Pepere
Children listen to everything but only hear what they want!!!!!
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra.
The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”
The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”
This compliments of Mario M
Complaints to wife and reply
To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It’s too late - 15 times
I’m too tired - 42 times
It’s too early - 12 times
It’s too hot - 18 times
Pretending to be asleep - 31 times
The neighbors will hear - 9 times
Headache or backache - 26 times
Sunburn - 10 times
Your mother will hear us - 9 times
Not in the mood - 21 times
Watching the late show - 17 times
Too sore - 26 times
New hairdo - 6 times
Wrong time of the month - 14 times
You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times
Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let’s try to improve this, shall we??
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.