Chapter 667

Keep in mind this is likely British Humor this one is compliments of tiller For all the Kenny Everett fans out there...

‘Allo mental cripples, Sidney Aloysius Snot ‘ere.

I woz walkin’ down the ‘igh street yestidee wif me gurlfriend Diedre. you know window shopping like, when Diedre says “Oh Sidney, I would love to have those boots”

So I grabs a brick, ‘eaves it through the window and gives ‘er the boots.

We walks a bit further down and Diedre says “Oh Sidney, I would love to have that leather coat”

So I grabs a brick, ‘eaves it through the window and gives ‘er the coat.

We walks a bit further down and Diedre says “Oh Sidney, I would love to have that diamond ring”

I looks at ‘er and says “What you fink I am, made of bricks or sumfin?”

This One Is Compliment of Dave D

An Englishman, (Michael)a Scotsman, (Jock) and Paddy (He was Irish)were captured by Apaches but old Geronimo was in a good mood for once and said if they could each sing him a song about a dog, they could go in safety.

So while Michael did his voice warming up exercises, the warriors began sharpening their tomahawks.

Michael began to warble about somebody wanting to buy a mangy old cur:- “How much is that doggy in --”

“Oh shut the fuck up” shouted old Gery, “You’re giving my arse a fucking head ache, go on fuck off”

So Michael took the hint and fucked off.

Next Jock began to croon about a mutt with the unlikely name of old shep and it was with tears in his eyes and a last lingering look at Jock’s fine head of hair that Gery scratched his balls and told the wily old Scot to go.

“Right Paddy, it’s your turn and I warn you my warriors are getting a bit pissed off so make it a good one”

“Aye so I wull” our little red headed chap retorted and began to do a fair imitation of old blue eyes!

“Strangers in the night” he began in fine voice and the warriors fell about laughing and checking their I pads for the price of red scalps.

“Ha got ya” Gery shouted gleefully,

“You’re for a fucking hair cut me old mate” (he had an English friend) But Paddy was not in the least bit bothered as he swung into the second verse,

“Scooby doo be doo_ _ __”