Chapter 662

These are compliments of John A.

A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”

He answered, “Call for backup.”

When you are dead you don’t know you are dead, it is only difficult for others.
It’s the same for stupid people.

People my age seem much older than me.

Just spent 15 minutes searching my car for my phone using the phones flashlight.

I want to grow my own food, but I cannot find bacon seeds.

What’s the difference between bird flue and swine flue?
One requires tweetment and the other oinkment.

I have so many problems that if a new one comes along today, it will be at least two weeks before I can worry about it.

I am starting meetings at my house for people with OCD. I don’t have it but I hope that they’ll take one look and start cleaning.

I am a seenager. (a senior teenager)
I have everything I wanted as a teenager only 60 years later.
I don’ have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a drivers license and my own car.
The people I hang around with not scared about getting pregnant and they do not use drugs.
I don’t have acne.
LIFE IS GREAT.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word from a song from 1960 and forget what I came in the other room to do.

The Smartphone is now the number one hand held device.

Penis has slipped to the second spot.

Can you believe it!