Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 660

This Compliments of Km, a Star Wars Fan

What’s the internal temperature of a Taun Taun A. Luke warm of course

Why did the storm trooper buy the iPhone? A. You’re not much of a Star Wars fan if you don’t know that storm troopers buy iPhones because they can never find the droids they’re looking for.

Why is Kylo Ren always lonely? A. Well he’s always Ben Solo

Why did the droids have the accident? A. Because R2D2 couldn’t C3PO (if you don’t get that one say it aloud)

If your having dinner at the Rebel Hanger Lounge, what do you get to drink before? A. Well you always get a Han shot first.

What happens when Chewbacca gets chocolate in his fur? A. You get chocolate chip Wookie of course


This One Is Compliments of Nav

Retirement:

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

 
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