Chapter 656

An elderly couple was at home watching TV.

Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake Phil, Leave it on the porn channel. You know how to fish!”

I Bet you didn’t see that coming

APHORISMS...
It’s not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.

We have enough “youth”.
How about a fountain of “smart”?

The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.

A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS’ MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL

Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

If at first you don’t succeed
skydiving is not for you.

We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.

Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.

Alabama state motto:
At least we’re not Mississippi.

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.

The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population.

“I think Congressmen should wear uniforms,
you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could
identify their corporate sponsors...”

“Hot & Bothered”

There’s this couple and they’ve been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won’t sleep with him because she’s saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he’s very hot and bothered, and he said, “Oh come on, just a feel.”

She said, “No, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

They went back and forth. He said, “Just one feel, I promise, that’s all, just one feel.”

She finally agreed, “Okay, just one feel, but that’s all, just one, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, “Can’t we please?”

She of course states, “NO, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He says, “Please, please?” and she says, “No, absolutely not, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He says, “How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?”

She says, “No way, I’m saving myself for marriage.”

He begs and pleads with her, “I promise, just the tip, no more, and we’ll stop after that.”

She finally gives in, “Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that’s all.”

He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in ... he so hot and ready that he can’t control himself shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town ... she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, “OKAY, GO AHEAD, PUT IT THE WHOLE WAY IN!”

A little stunned, he says, “NO, absolutely not! A deal is a deal!”