Chapter 636

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT

2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP

4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU

8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

The following is compliments of john a

One Liners

To many assholes, too few bullets.

Some days I amaze myself, others I put my keys in the fridge.

I wonder if common sense will ever make a come back

Don’t try to explain yourself to stupid people, you are not the Jackass whisperer

The world is not full of assholes, they are just strategically placed, so you run into one every day.

So I just saw a donkey that looked both ways before crossing the road. What a smart ass.

The generation of today is so allergic to everything, that future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.

When people say stop living in the past, my thoughts are but the music in the past was so much better.

I finally realized it ... people are prisoners of their phones. That is why they are called cell phones