Chapter 630

This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit his Favorite Blond Joke:

Why are Blond Jokes so short?

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wait for it

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So men will understand them.

These are compliments of Dom

Adultery: when a partner assumes they are too good to be true.

Democrats generally have more children than Republicans. No surprise. Whoever heard of anyone enjoying a good piece of elephant?

An American visiting England was walking down a street when a wonderful smell of fish and chips drew her by the nose into a small monastery. The food was outstanding, just perfect in every way. She wanted to thank the cook personally so was escorted back into the kitchen and greeted by a happy looking man in a Capuchin robe.

When she asked to meet the creator of her fish and chips the chef grinned wide and said, “Madam, I am the Fish Friar. The other cook over there is the Chip Monk.”

This one is compliments of the ‘Shy One’

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?

She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese.

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?

There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

This one is compliments of Gary

Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband’s libido.

“What about trying Viagra?” Asks the doctor.

“Not a chance,” she said. “He won’t even take an aspirin.”

“Not a problem”, replied the doctor. “Give him an ‘Irish Viagra.’ Just drop a Viagra tablet in his coffee. He won’t even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.”

Less than a week later, she called the doctor to report on the results. The lady exclaimed, “Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!”

“Really? What happened?” asked the doctor.

“Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye, and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me, then and there, took me passionately on the tabletop! It was a real nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!”

“Why so terrible?” asked the doctor, “Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?”

“T’was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But, sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!”