Chapter 628

BY the way, do you know what the boy bunny said to the girl bunny?

It won’t hurt did it!!!!!

Smokeyjoe

A squad of British Army recruits had been sent to Malaya for a ‘Jungle survival training course’, what they could eat, what could poison, what to use in making a shelter also what dangerous animals they could meet.

After numerous courses they were taken out to the jungle to try out their knowledge, at a clearing the Sergeant in charge split them into pairs and told them to take a different path for each pair and to put into practice what they had learned.

But before he let them go he warned them about a particularly dangerous snake that was mainly orange in colour with brown stripes. This snake would attack without warning and the only way to protect yourself was to grab it by its tail, slide your other hand up to its neck and break its back.

Off they went along different tracks, until only one soldier was left, “alright you, come with me.”

When they reached a fork in the track the Sergeant told the private to go one way for half an hour, studying what he’d learned, then come back.

When he was out of sight, the Sergeant sat and had a doze. Waking up with a start, he realised the private hadn’t yet returned and over an hour had passed.

He was just about to go looking for him when he heard crashing through the jungle and the private staggered out with his uniform in tatters, covered in scratches and generally a bloody mess.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“You remember you told me that if I saw a brown snake with orange stripes I was to grab it by its tail run my other hand up its body and break its neck?”

“Yes, so what!”

“Well that’s what I tried to do.”

“So why do you look like that?”

“Ever stick your thumb up a tigers arse?”

Murphy’s three laws,

1) If anything can go wrong it will.

2) If something has already gone wrong, it’ll get worse.

3) If nothing has gone wrong yet, PANIC.