Chapter 625

From the latest in PREVENTION Magazine concerning a study in CANADA!)

Five “Unusual” Sex Acts That Are More Normal Than You Think

If you’re embarrassed by daydreams of being tied up and given a good spanking, don’t be. They’re not so weird after all: Almost half of people in a recent Canadian survey published in the Journal of Sex Research admitted to at least thinking about sexual behavior considered “anomalous” by psychiatric standards, and a third have even engaged in the behavior at least once. “It turns out some of these so-called ‘taboo’ behaviors are actually pretty common,” says Christian Joyal, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Montreal.

Here are the most common fantasies:

Voyeurism:
Almost half of people surveyed have fantasies about voyeurism, or watching a stranger get undressed or have sex. About a third copped to doing this deed.

Fetishism:
About a quarter of respondents confessed they’ve indulged in fetishism, or being aroused by a nonsexual object like a pair of high heels or a silk scarf.

Exhibitionism:
Thirty percent of people admit to having had sex in public or in an area where there was a high chance of getting seen or caught.

Frotteurism:
Around a quarter of respondents had engaged in something called frotteurism, which is getting turned on by touching or rubbing themselves against a stranger.

Masochism:
Almost 20% of people lived out the fantasy of being sexually aroused by being dominated or humiliated by another (think handcuffs).

The people surveyed were by no means sexual deviants. “We’d done past studies in students and weren’t shocked that many were experimenting, but this was the first time we looked at the general population,” Joyal says. And yet, although all of these behaviors seem fairly mainstream, they’re still considered abnormal in the most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.

“All the behaviors we looked at are classified as paraphilic disorders, which is defined as any intense sexual interest that doesn’t involve genital stimulation or fondling with your partner,” says Joyal. “It’s outrageous that people who are tied up or get turned on by having their feet rubbed are classified in the same category as pedophiles.”

Some of these activities, like frotteurism and exhibitionism, are clearly illegal, and no, we don’t recommend exposing yourself at Trader Joe’s or rubbing up against someone on the subway. But most of the time, these behaviors, as long as they’re done between two consenting adults, is healthy and fine, reassures Joyal.

In fact, Joyal’s research suggests that the more so-called kinky sex people admitted to, the happier and more robust their sex life. “Less than 10% said to us it was a regular practice—otherwise it was something they tried on occasion to spice things up,” says Joyal. It only becomes a problem, he adds, if either you or your partner feel uncomfortable doing the requested activity, or if it becomes obsessive (for example, needing to look at porn for hours, or insisting on wearing a nurse’s outfit every single time you have sex). Otherwise, grab a feather duster, paintbrush, ping-pong paddle, or captain’s uniform, and role play away.