Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 624
This One Is Compliments of Smokeyjoe
Jack got married, due to the fact that he had a very strict upbringing, he never had any experience with sex. Playing with himself, looking at porn, not even sly looks at well endowed minimally dressed women got to him, so he went into his wedding a physical and mental virgin.
After a week of nothing happening with his new bride, she suggested he go see a doctor.
The doctor, after realising just what Jack didn’t know, proceeded to explain the facts of life to him.
After about an hour, he asks Jack if he understands what to do, Jack looks a bit confused and said he wasn’t sure.
So the doctor calls his nurse in, gets her to strip off and lay on the examination couch, then the doctor gets on top and on the job.
“Lift up my left testical,” Jack does that, “Do you see what I’m doing.”
“Huh huh,” says Jack.
“Do this to your wife at least once a day and twice on the weekends, O.K?”
So Jack goes home, ready to try what he’d learned.
About 2 weeks later, the doctor sees Jack coming towards him on a pair of crutches.
“Hello Jack, how’s things going?” He asks.
“Oh, so so.” Answered Jack.
“Did you try what I showed you with your wife?”
“Mmmm, yup, when I got home, I thought I’d try it straight away. So I stripped off, got her clothes off, then I thought ‘what do i lay her on’ then I spotted the ironing board. So I lays her on that. Then I thought ‘what do I hold my left testical up with’ I know a piece of string from it to the light fitting, I just got on top of her when the ironing board collapsed. That’s why I’m walking like this.”
Paddy goes to the doctor with a problem.
“So, Paddy, what’s the matter?” asked the doc.
“Well it’s like this, I’ve got 9 kids already and I don’t need the wife pregnant again. What’ll I do, I got enough.”
“I can put your wife on the pill” the doc says.
“The what.”
“You know, the contraceptive pill. But you must wear a rubber for a month till she becomes protected”
“A what? A rubber what?”
“You obviously haven’t a clue what I’m on about, here duck into this alley, I happen to have on one means I’ll show you how to wear it. And remember, don’t take it off.”
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