Chapter 616

This is compliments of the ‘Shy One’

Maxine For President

Everyone concentrates on the problems we’re having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida...

... Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it’s a win-win situation.

* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.

* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? Yes!

Think about this: 1. Cows 2. The Constitution 3. The Ten Commandments

COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 12 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ and ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... It creates a hostile work environment.

Also, think about this ... If you don’t want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- Stand up and dare to be politically incorrect.

You Can Thank Smokeyjoe for This One:

Paddy was walking along the road, when he noticed a small man crossing. A car was coming, so Paddy rushed up, grabbing the little fella and threw themselves to the side of the road, just avoiding being hit.

“Ah! Thank you Paddy me lad. You just saved me life.” The little man said, “I’m a leprechaun and for saving me I can grant you three wishes. But I must tell you that whatever you wish for I must give your worst enemy, who I know is Michael O’Falaraty, double the wish.”

So Paddy sat and had a good think about what he wanted most in life. “For my first wish, I would like a 24 bedroomed mansion on that hill there, with all the trimmings, furniture, servants and so forth. And enough money to live happily there for the rest of my life.”