Chapter 611

This compliments of John A.

A older man goes to his Dr. When his exam is finished he asks “can he can ask him a question.”

The Dr. “said of course”

“Dr. when I was a young man and got a erection I couldn’t bend it. Then I got in my thirties and I could bend it a little. In my 60’s I could bend it even more. My question to you is how much stronger am I going to get?”

Now this is not part of the joke. When I pulled this on my Dr. about 15 years ago he almost fell out of his chair laughing.

This one is compliments of Mike B

A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the wife.

“They’re on sale, only $20 for 24 cans” he replies.

“Put them back, we can’t afford them” demands the wife.

They carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $40 jar of face Cream and puts it in the basket.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband.

“It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

Her husband retorts, “So does 24 cans of beer, and it’s half the price.”

That’s him, lying there bleeding in Aisle 5.

This one is compliments of John & Beryl

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.

Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”

The woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”