Chapter 605

WHY ETHEL CHANGED MOTELS

Ethel checked into a Motel on her 50th Birthday she was lonely, a little depressed at her advancing age so decided to risk an adventure.

She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages.”

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well-oiled buns...

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call. “Good evening, ma’am, how may I help you?

Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy! Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, “I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now ... Bring implements, toys, everything you’ve got in your bag of tricks. We’ll go at it all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I’m ready!

Now how does that sound?”

He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”

Life just gets better as you get older, doesn’t it?

This guy was in a Starbucks Cafe recently when his stomach started rumbling and realized that he desperately needed to fart. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment, He timed his farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs he started to feel much better. As he finished his coffee he noticed everyone was staring at him. That’s when he suddenly remembered ... that he was listening to his iPod. This is what happens when old people start using technology!!!