Chapter 601

This is compliments of Rob C.

Little Johnny is outside sitting on the curb, playing with his toy semi truck, every once in awhile he pops an m&m in his mouth, grabs the cat and bites it, and moves down the curb a bit. His dad is watching this thru the window, wondering what he’s doing. Johnny pops an m&m in his mouth, bites the cat and moves down the curb again. So dad goes out to see what he’s doing, Johnny tells him he’s a truck driver, dad asks him what he means, Johnny says “ You know, poppin’ pills, eatin’ pussy and movin’ down the road”

This item is compliments of GEORGE

I struggled and struggled and struggled. Finally I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. Then I heard the whistle.

One evening a husband and wife were in bed. The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife’s private area, then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love.

A short time later the husband again reaches into his wife’s private area then withdraws his hand. Now the wife is almost sure that her husband is “in the mood.” She decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure. Sure enough, the husband repeats the move. She leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for what she is sure will be her husband’s amorous advances.

Her husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says, “Dear, I’m all ready!”

The husband asks, “For what?”

She says, “Well, for sex, dear! You’ve fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I’m ready!”

The husband replies, “Huh? Sex?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages...”

THE UNDERTAKER’S BLACK EYE

Dennis, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.

“What happened to you?” asked his wife.

“I had a terrible day.” replied Roy. “I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn’t get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half.”

“I see” said his wife, “but how did you get the black eye?”

Roy replied: “Wrong room...”