Chapter 596

A farmer named Gerry Drover had a car accident. He was hit by a PEI potato truck owned by the MacLean Company.

In court, the Maclean Company’s hot-shot solicitor was questioning Gerry.

‘Didn’t you say to the police at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’ asked the solicitor.

Gerry responded: ‘Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I’d just loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da... ‘

‘I didn’t ask for any details’, the solicitor interrupted. ‘Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?’

Gerry said, ‘Well, I’d just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin’ down da road... ‘

The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. ‘

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Gerry’s answer and said to the solicitor: ‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie’.

Gerry thanked the Judge and proceeded. ‘Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road when this huge Maclean potato truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘Mr. Drover, how are you feelin’?’... ‘Now yer honor, wot da fock would you say?’

“Beer Stories”

Three friends are sitting around their favorite pub. The first guy says “Hey guys, I know this other bar where you go in and every third drink that you order, you get the next one free. On top of t hat, about 1/4 of the time I go in there, I get lucky!” The second guy says, “That’s nothing! I know this bar where you get every other drink on the house, and I get lucky there about 1/2 the times that I go in.” The third guy, unimpressed, says, “Hell, I’ve got you both beat, I know a place where you get every drink on the house and you get ‘lucky’ EVERY time you go in!” The other two say, “Wow! Where is it?” The third responds with a sigh, “I don’t know, my wife won’t tell me.”

This Item Is Compliments of Gary

It is said that the average man is about 6” long. It is also said that the average woman can accommodate about 9”. Do you realize that that means there is approximately 300 miles of unused pussy in New York City alone. Wow, what a waste!