Chapter 59

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl "Will You Marry Me?"

The girl said "NO".

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode a motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank Beer and Scotch and had money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The End.

How to get to Heaven from Ireland

(A true Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher)

I was questioning children in my Dublin Sunday school class,

to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale,

and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything

tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

'If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get

me into heaven?'

Again, they all answered 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, 'Then how can I get into heaven?'

A little boy shouted out: 'YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD.'

It's a curious race, the Irish. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

This one is compliments of Davy M.

Here is one that I wrote several years ago

inspired by Jeff Foxworthy.

You may be a redneck if...

When the preacher starts extolling the virtues of

the King on Sunday, you don't know if he is

talking about Elvis or Richard Petty!