Chapter 589

The body builder takes off his shirt And the blonde says, “What a Great chest you have!’

He tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’

He takes off his pants and the blonde says, ‘ “What massive calves you have!’

The body builder tells her, ‘That’s 100 lbs. Of dynamite, Baby.’

He then removes his underwear and The blonde goes running out of the Apartment screaming in fear.

The body builder puts his clothes Back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why She ran out of the apartment like that.

The blonde replies, ‘I was afraid to be around all that dynamite After I saw how short the fuse was!’

One day a young woman had just started playing her round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?’ ‘I was stung by a bee’, she said. ‘Where?’, he asked. ‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.

He nodded knowingly and said... ‘Then your feet were too far apart.’

Two male seniors decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, ‘go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk. I’m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won’t know the difference.’

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business. As they are walking home the first man says, ‘you know, I think my girl was dead!’

‘Dead?’ says his friend, ‘why do you say that?’

‘Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.’

His friend says, ‘could be worse I think mine was a witch.’

‘A witch?? ... Why the hell would you say that?’

‘well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window ... Took my teeth with her!

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

“This is the 21st century” she said. “We don’t waste money on newspapers. Here ... use my iPad.”

I can tell you this ... that fucking fly never knew what hit him...