Chapter 572

This a Note to a Couple of Readers!!!

Bunnies are doing well, thanks for asking.

This Compliments of Mario M

Paddy is passing by Mick’s hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green Massey Ferguson tractor. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers. Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay. “What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.

I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.

As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”

“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.

When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.

Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”

Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”

He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!

I have realised I still have so many unanswered questions! I never found out who let the dogs out ... the way to get to Sesame Street ... why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps ... why we don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery” ... why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed ... why “abbreviation “is such a long word ... Why is dyslexia so hard to spell, what is the way to Amarillo? why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons ... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ... and, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts” where’s that extra penny going to ... why do The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune ... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs ... and just what is Victoria’s secret?