Chapter 571

Love those Newfies

A person of color and a Newfie go into a pastry shop in north Edmonton.

The black guy whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn’t notice.

The black guy says to the Newfie, “You see how clever we are? You Newfies can never beat that!”

The Newfie says to the black guy, “Watch dis, any Newfie is smarter din you, and I’ll prove it to ya.”

He says to the baker, “Gimme a cookie, I’ll show ya a magic trick!” The baker gives him the cookie, which Newfie promptly eats.

Then he says to the baker, “Gimme anudder cookie for me magic trick.” The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him. He eats this one too.

Then he says again, “Gimme one more cookie...” The baker is getting angry now, but gives him one anyway. The Newfie eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells,

“OK ... And now where is your famous magic trick?”

The Newfie says...

“Now look in the black guy’s pocket!”

This one is compliments of john a

Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy, on a recommendation I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating.

As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure.

“Don’t worry. At this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” the nurse told me.

“I don’t have an erection,” I replied.

“No, but I do,” replied the nurse.

Don’t get a colonoscopy in San Francisco!