Chapter 560

This is compliments of the ‘Shy One’

I found myself in a pub in Cork, Ireland. A group of American tourists came in.

One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, “I hear you Irish think you’re great drinkers. I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes.”

The bar was silent, but the American noticed one Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.

40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said, “Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?”

“Sure” said the American, “20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000.”

“Grand,” replied the Irishman, “so pour the pints and start the clock.”

It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.

“OK Yank, pay up.” said the Irishman.

“I’m happy to pay, here’s your money” said the American. “But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?”

“Well sir”, replied the Irishman, “$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it.”

This is a comment from Rick ... interesting to say the least ... a think piece!!!!

My Grandfather voted Republican until the day he died.

After that, he voted Democrat.

Six times in the last two elections.

This one is compliments of Dom

By happenstance, a man was in an accident, which removed his primary appendage. While in the hospital and under surgery, the doctor mentioned to the victim’s wife that a baby elephant had just died, the carcass was nearby for research, and the trunk could be considered a substitute penis. With nothing to lose, the spouse said go for it and the surgical team attached the trunk.

Recovery was a success. Every function seemed to be working and when husband and wife went home, she was repeatedly delighted all night with the proof thereof.

The following morning with great appreciation she had a complete spread of breakfast waiting for her man. He came down in a bathrobe, sat at the table, and was about to sample everything on the plate when suddenly the new and very facile trunk came up over the edge of the table, grabbed two biscuits, then retreated away and back down.

She laughed, applauded, and thoroughly enjoyed both the sight of the moment and the potential for later action.

He merely sat, looking down. Then carefully placing the fork down, he said, “Not good. We’re going back to the hospital and having this thing removed.”

She instantly reacted in defense of her new best friend. “What! Why? No way. That new penis is a terrific pleasure to have around. Why in the world would you want to get rid of the Greatest Tool on Earth?”

He continued to look down and in a calm voice replied, “Have you any idea where it just put those biscuits?”