Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 553
ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!
When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory ... I don’t remember what I chose.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.
Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
</li>Virginity can be cured.
Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.
Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
Question: What’s an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.