Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 552
Obscene phone call?
The phone rings, and the wife answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, “I bet you have a tight arsehole with no hair.”
Woman replies, “Yes, he’s watching TV. Who shall I say is calling?”
LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? A lexophile of course!
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he canstop any time
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro - what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
God went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’
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