Chapter 550

POLICE DOG

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a ‘sniffing dog’.

‘His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is. I’ll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.’

The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, ‘Watch this.’

He told Sniffer to ‘search’.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman’s arm.

The Policeman said, ‘Good boy’, and he turned to the man and said, ‘That woman is in possession of marijuana, I’m making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

‘Gee, that’s pretty good, ‘ replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent’s arm.

The Policeman said, ‘That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I’m making a note of his seat number for the police.’

‘I like it!’ said his seat mate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to ‘search’ again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop on the seat.

The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn’t figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that. So he asked the Policeman, ‘What’s going on?’

The Policeman nervously replied, ‘He’s just found a bomb.’

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More Jewish jokes

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play.

Momma says Wonderful. What part is it? The boy says, I play the part of the Jewish husband. The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”

= = =

A man walked into the Lingerie Department of Macy’s in New York City. He tells the saleslady, “I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B.”

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, “What kind of bra?”

He repeated A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know what she wanted.

“Ah, now I remember”, said the saleslady. “We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.”

Confused and a little flustered, the man asked “So, what are the differences?”

The saleslady responded. “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.”

He mused on that information for a minute and said “Hmmm. I know I’ll regret asking, but what does the Jewish bra do?

“A Jewish bra”, she replied with a grin, “makes mountains out of molehills”.