Chapter 546

A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane.

After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”

The rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”

The priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”

“Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich.”

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”

The priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”

The rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”

The priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith.”

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.

Finally the rabbi quietly observed, “Beats the shit out of a bacon sandwich doesn’t it?”

FACT

Who says building a border wall won’t work?

The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans.

This is compliments of Gary!!

Do you know why your dick isn’t 12 inches long? If it were 12 inches long then it would be a foot!

This items is compliments of john a

Thoughts of a senior citizen

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”

Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”

I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.

What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their noses?

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.