Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 524
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there’s a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses ... On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest came in. I said to him: “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
He replied: “You moron, you’re on my side.”
This is compliments of John A.
Never ask a woman how she is doing when she is eating ice cream out of the carton.
Why don’t I have any tattoos? for the same reason you do not put bumper stickers on a Ferrari.
I want it all and I want it delivered. Bette Midler.
I might wake up early and go running. I may wake up and find I that I won the lottery. Same odds.
I put some Irish whisky in my coffee, BECAUSE IT’S IRELAND SOME WHERE.
I WONDER WHY WE ARE SO OBSESSED WITH FINDING LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS WHEN IT IS DIFFICULT TO FIND HERE.
I hate it when I gain 10 lbs. for a role and the realize I am not a actress.
if your cup is half full you probably need a different bra.
Some things are better left unsaid, which I generally realize after I have said them.
I don’t know which is longer a microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
My head says gym, but my heart says tacos
The following is compliments of John A.
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.
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