Chapter 520

This is a serious thought piece from George

Ever been anywhere women weren’t complaining about being too cold and men weren’t complaining about being too warm? Well, neither have I. Got it figured our though.

If women would wear more clothing instead of parading around in all that bare skin, men wouldn’t become over heated being aroused by them.

Want proof? Ever hear a Muslim woman complain about being cold? Ever hear a Muslim man complain about the heat? (That of course assumes he’s not looking at western porn on his iPad.

BTW. I wonder what Muslim porn is like.

This is compliments of ‘The Shy One’

The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town.

After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.

The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?”

The old man grinned and said, “You got to keep the old motor running.”

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman.

She said, “Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?”

The old man grinned and said, “You gotta keep the old motor running...”

A year later, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their third child.

The same nurse was there for this birth also and, after the delivery, she once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, “Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?”

The old man replied, “It’s like I’ve told you before, you gotta keep the old motor running.”

The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: “Well, I guess it’s time to change the oil. This one’s black.”

More from the ‘Shy One’

Quickies

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

“I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.”

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.

He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says “If you continue to behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends!”

My wife and I had words,
But I didn’t get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

The irony of life is that, by the time You’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere.

I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when your wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?*

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our gardener ran away.

(*Period: As in a full stop)

A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children,

“Are all these kids yours?”

The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints”.

A young boy asks his Dad, “What is the difference between confident and confidential?”

Dad says, “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that’s confidential.”

Nominated as the best short joke this year...

A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

“Mom” he asked, “are these my brains?”

“Not yet,” she replied.