Chapter 518

This Group of Items Are Compliments of John A

I got a salad for dinner.

Well actually a fruit salad.

Well mostly grapes.

Well all right all grapes.

Fermented grapes.

well Wine.

I have wine for dinner.

People that wonder if there glass is half empty or half full are missing the point.

IT’S REFILLABLE.

Did you know that two or three glasses of wine a day reduce you chance of giving a shit!

Not to be technical but according to chemistry Alcohol is a solution.

I am not a alcoholic, alcoholics need a drink. I already have one.

Sometimes when I reflect back on all of the wine I drink, I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think of all the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.

If I didn’t’ drink the wine they might lose their jobs and all of their hopes and dreams would be shattered. Then I think to myself that it is better to drink this wine than shatter all of their hopes and dreams, than worry about my liver. Jack Hardy

I only drink a little but when I do I turn into someone who drinks a lot.

Dear alcohol your promised to make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer.

I saw the video we need to talk!

Lord give me coffee to change the things I can and wine to accept the things I can’t.

Of course size matters no one want a small glass of wine.

There should be a little Champaign Truck, that runs around the neighborhood in the evening playing French music. We would hear is and we would all run out standing on the pavement waiting for it, with our money. for it. Like, a ice cream truck, only this would be Champaign.

There was a Mensa convention in San Francisco. (Mensa, as you probably know, is a national organization for people who have an IQ of 140 or higher).

Several of the Mensa members went for lunch at a local café. When they sat down, one of them discovered that their salt shaker contained pepper, and their pepper shaker was full of salt.

How could they swap the contents of the two bottles without spilling any, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, this was a job for Mensa minds.

The group debated the problem and presented ideas and finally, came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over, ready to dazzle her with their solution. “Ma’am,” they said, “we couldn’t help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker has pepper. But before they could finish, the waitress interrupted: “Oh sorry about that.”

She leaned over the table, unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them. There was dead silence at the Mensa table.

Kind of reminds you of the folks in Ottawa, Canada and Washington D.C., doesn’t it?