Chapter 504

Why RabbiRabbit likes baseball:

Outstanding Football Quotes

“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football”

John Heisman

“I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.”

Bear Bryant / Alabama

“It isn’t necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!”

Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any.”

Erk Russell / Georgia Southern

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.”

Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Norte Dame

“When you win, nothing hurts.”

Joe Namath / Alabama

“A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.”

Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.”

Woody Hayes / Ohio State

“I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.”

Bob Devaney / Nebraska

In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.”

Wally Butts / Georgia

“We might have got our asses kicked for the last forty years but I still made 500 million dollars.”

William Clay Ford

“I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms - Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.”

Alex Karras / Iowa

My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor.”

Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

“I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades.”

Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

“Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.”

Shug Jordan / Auburn

“I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn’t recruit me. “He said, “Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren’t any good.”

Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

“Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.”

Bobby Bowden / Florida State

“Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport.”

Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was, “All those who need showers, take them.”

John McKay / USC

“If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.”

Murray Warmath / Minnesota

“The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.”

Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches.”

Darrell Royal / Texas

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.”

John McKay / USC

I’ve found that prayers work best when you have big players.”

Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

This is compliments of the ‘Shy One’

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?”

“Yes, coach”, replied the little boy.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that?”

Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative.

The coach continued, “And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach a dumb ass or shithead is it?”

“No, coach.”

“Good”, said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!”