Chapter 496

This One Is Compliments of Mike

A girl wakes, after a heavy night on the booze, to find an elephant in bed with her.

She mutters, "Gawd I musta been tight last night"

The elephant turned over and said "Yes, -- just a little"

This One Is Compliments of Johnny M

Another version of the second in yesterday's 'Jokes and Giggles'.

A biker struggles to wake up after a night on the bender. Aware of a weight on his right arm, he turns to see; - the ugliest woman outside of a horror movies special effects studio. About to barf he turns the other way to run to the bathroom and, wow! here is the exact opposite. His stomach settles as his eyes roam, perfect face, wonderful hair. He slides the covers down and exposes lovely firm breasts. With the covers now right off his male appendage is reacting to the wonderful sight.

He's just reaching out to touch when her eyes flutter and she wakes. She smiles at him and then realises what is bumping into her hip.

"No no, senor, I was just the bridesmaid"

This One Is Compliments of Pepere

I told my son "I want you to marry a girl of my choice!"

He said "NO!"

I told him that it's Bill Gates' daughter!!!!

He said "OKAY!"

I got in contact with Bill Gates & told him "I want your daughter to marry my son!"

He said "NO!"

I told him that my son was the CEO of the World Bank!

He said "OKAY!"

I went to the President of the World Bank & told him to make my son CEO of the Bank!

He said "NO!"

I told him that my son was Bill Gates Son-in-Law!

He said "OKAY!"

That is "Exactly how Politics works".