Chapter 480

The difference between oO and Oo;

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.

I'll see you back in court Monday"

On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: Oo.

Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

"Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: oO.

Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison..."

This one is compliments of Jim7

Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, Rednecks, bad golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc., but it's " insensitive" to make jokes about Muslims?

Time to level the playing field and be "politically correct" by including the Muslims!

Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim.

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.

3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.

5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim.

6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.

7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim.

10. If you find this offensive and don't forward it you may be a Muslin.